Monday, December 29, 2008
At least 4-5 times a week. With the holidays its kinda hard. But tonight....I did so good.
45 minutes on the treadmill, and 10 minutes on the stair master. Over 500 calories burned. I did about 50 crunches too.
Now, the thing that has made my life crazy is the fills. I think I am starting to feel restriction...... but again I am not sure. I am not hungry as much. I am following the nutritionist rules and having 6 small meals daily. It helps a lot. I get the reccommed amount of protein. I think that the hardest thing to is have faith in this band. I am slowly giving my self over to it. I will, I just have to not give in to the evil.............the bad food.
What is so hard is to say no. I did that tonight. My husband......bought not one but 2 boxes of pot of gold..... Now I can't believe he would do that to me, and bring chocolate in to our house. It is like giving drugs to an addict. I never felt so alone at that moment in time. I would have love to sank in bed........opened that box of candy and melt away. Taste that amazing gold, and have it roll around my mouth and savor every calorie. It is a high. So many times I would stop by my favorite place to eat. Pick up so much food, go home......eat and fall back like someone who just scored there fav drug, and just shot up. My drug is food.....
I can't go back to that..... I can't fall back in to those habits again.
I pray every night that I can have one more day of help.........One more day of strengh.
I am very proud with how far I have come. It is time for me now.......
I will get this demon away from me, and the skinny person will be freed!
Thanks for reading ya'll!
Saturday, December 27, 2008
I was about 225! Yah still over 200 but I was 25lbs to my goal.
I gained a little back when we all got settled with husband back home. But I never gave up this fight.
I do hope by this time next year, I will be the size I hope for......a size healthy.
Thanks for reading!
Friday, December 26, 2008
I make the trek from Ft Drum NY to Georgia. I do this with 4 kids and a dog. ALONE...... SO of course it was eating on the road. Not good food, and lots of snacks soda and many other bad foods. We arrive to our new post, and get settled. I think about the kids, and get them enrolled in school. Begin some volunteering work and then decide it is time for me to go back to work. I begin the process of applications, and I get a call for an interview..................
I put on my best and only interview suit. It is a 22 and it was tight. I looked really bad. I am so glad I have not found the pic of that day. I looked fat and terrible. Thankfully my skills and my work history was enough for them to hire me.
January was an awaking time for me. I watched the biggest loser, and prayed for help. I remembered the WLS that I was pondering, and thought No, I will try this on my own. I lost about 40lbs and hit a wall. I was to my doctor back and forth for my thyroid levels, and we broached the Lap band talk. We talked and thought tried the adjustment of meds, and I would be careful and steady on my diet. About 3 months later........I went back and I explained about my hunger and would love to get rid of that nagging feeling. He prescribed a medication that wasn't covered by my insurance. I called my doctor and we felt it was time for a consult for the surgery. I got my referral the following week and I had my first group consult on 11 Sept. I met with Dr Steinberg about 2 weeks later. I was able to get a few of the consults out of the way. In this time I learned I am ADHD....... thank you Dr Ivy. And I have a great team to help me eat right. I have a great set of lungs, as per the PFT showed!! I had a few other consults to get done, and it was all submitted to my insurance the first week in oct, and on 8 oct I got the call that it was approved.
I went up a few weeks later...............signed the consent forms, and then waited for my surgery date. November 20th couldn't come fast enough.
The morning of my surgery was like any other morning. I was nervous excited and very happy that this day had come! I drove up......... I knew I had to be the person who drove. I was the one who made this decison....and I needed to be the one who took me. Dekalb medical was the hospital I had my surgery at. This place is amazing.........clean and the floor I was put on was for patients who had WLS.
So back to that morning......We get there, and got register. It isn't more than 10 minutes, and I am called back to pre op and get in to a gown, oh so flattering. LOL IV is started and I am given some antibiotics, and fluids. About 1pm I am wheeled in to the OR suite, and the last thing I remember was something going in my IV. I woke up about 3:45 and I was in Recovery. I wasn't feeling so good. That is typical for me. I have some dry heaving and nauseous. I get some Pheregan and I am back to sleep. I am in a groggy stupor and as I am wheeled to my room. I have a pain pump. AS a nurse I know I have to get up and move around, and get this gas to move out of me. As I call the nurse with the call button, She is walking in to ask me if I want to get up and walk. Of course.......... I get the deer in head lights look. I explain I am a nurse, and how I know I need to get up. I walk about 10 min, and I get back to my room and there is my tray. I don't feel like eating at all.......... but I need to try. So, I sip and it is just sipping..... Uh oh........ ok ummm not a good idea. I don't need to eat. Cause the heaves come back. Ouch.....!! But that passes, and I learn that the anesthia takes a while to get out of my system. I have a good night sleeping. The nurses were in and out checking my vitals. I had some really low pressures........ but I assumed my pain meds were the cause of that. So next time I am not going to use morphine. 89/49 is low.....!
I go home the day after my surgery, and I recoup the next week and through thanksgiving.
Today is my 35th day since the band. I hope that this blog was going to help me and others.......I am proud and sometimes scared of my decision. I am in a learning process.
Thank you for reading.