Saturday, July 28, 2012

In the 100's!!

The one on the left was july 13th and the other one is today

               I have been here before...... and I remember that feeling when I hit it the first time. Still feels good, and I never want to be in the 200's again. In the past 4 weeks I have been hitting the gym hard, and if I didn't make it to the gym I would run around my subdivision. I refuse to sit and not do anything...... because if I do, I will not lose the weight. I have to workout or I will not see a change on the scale.
            While I try not to focus on the number on the scale so much, I have turned my attention to the difference I see in the pictures. I love the changes I see. Collar bone, sculpted neck with no double chin, and mostly the fact that my arms aren't so bulky.  I will never have thin upper arms, but I can define them and make them better.
          Eating is still a challenge. I have the size of a 2 ounce stomach. I feel full just after a few bites. The bulk of my diet is in protein drinks and frequent meals. I know when I haven't consumed enough or if it has been to long since my last meal as I get dizzy or light headed. I also have to get in at least 64 ounces of water a day. I get it in as I refuse to become dehydrated. That makes me feel nauseous and not wanting to eat.  I rarely feel hungry. So I rely on my daily journal and my cues from my body.
              Vitamins are so important also.  I have to take 2 children's chewable with iron. Along with calcium with vitamin d. I am deficient in vitamin d. The nutritionist said that many obese people are because we can't absorb it like normal weight people. I know with losing over 30% of my body fat I hope that when they check me again this will no longer be the case.
               I see my general surgeon on the 8th of august and I am sure he will be pleased with the numbers on the scale. I was thrilled with the fact that I hit onderland that I went down to my nutritionist and share with her my accomplishment. I got a huge hug and she was happy for me as well.

                     I have a great time working out. I take pride in the moment and machine is an addition to the tool that has been given to me. I am very lucky and I know just how lucky I am . I will live each day and remind my self how different it could have been. I may struggle but at least I know I am still alive and here for the now and the future!

     Thank you for reading!!!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Close to ONEDERLAND!!!

          I wake up every morning and get dressed, brush hair, teeth, and head out the door for the daily grind of work. About 5 times a week I now add a few hours at night to the gym.  I love working out with my fellow sleeve friend Megan.  We get each other and have the same struggles that we have worked on overcoming. I work out harder with her for some reason.  So happy to share feelings and frustrations with someone who relates and understands.  I look forward to our workouts, but there are nights that I just want to stay in my recliner and vegg, but doing that got me over 200lbs again.  However when I am returning home from a kick ass workout I am invigorated and pumped full of energy. I have the music up and windows down and singing praise songs because I know I once again I did not stay in that chair. I GOT UP AND BURNED CALORIES.
         It is so funny how every day while driving I begin my next post in my head, but when I get in front of my laptop I forget it all. I have so much to share and say. So I am going to try to remember what I want to type out.
         I got new sneakers. Not a big deal for most, Right? Well about a week ago I thought I would go for a walk/run. I woke up the next morning in agony. Shin splints........Never under estimate the value of a good pair of running shoes. A few nights later I went to Academy and tried on several pairs of shoes. I finally got my decision down to a pair of hot pink and black saucony shoes. That night with the iphone buds in my ears, and my music playing I ran again.  The next pain!!
I have ran 3 times this week. While I wish it was consistent running I am working on my pace, and endurance. It is tough and I am being to hard on myself.  Tonight my husband joined me and he gave me a little goal to work on over the course of the next 2 weeks. I should be able to run the full area where we live with out breaking to a walk pace. I am indeed up on the challenge. I should have asked what do I get if I accomplish it. But see, what I will get is the ability to run with out heavy breathing and feeling like I am gonna die. I will get the joy of being a runner. The joy of seeing my pounds fall off with every hit of my foot to the pavement. So while I won't receive anything like a gift, what I will get is a healthier body.
    Being so close to weighing in the 100's again is a great push for me. I want to be closer to a normal BMI.  If that means me working out hard and long..........sign me up. I will do it, and keep the past behind me as I lose each pound. Thank you for reading. If there are any readers.


Wednesday, July 4, 2012

8 weeks post sleeve and going strong

   Today is the 4th of July, America's Independence Day. It is also a special day as I have lost 36lbs since May 1st. I feel wonderful and have my energy back. I am happier than I was but not back to what I was when I was so close to my goal weight with the lap band. While I am thrilled with my progress, in the back of my mind I worry that I will fail this too.
   I have a wonderful support group at the hospital I had my procedure at. I met a wonderful fellow sleever and we meet several times a week at the gym on post.
   If you have ever struggled with weight and the obsession of food.......then you know my life. I will never be cured of my perception of my body but I know that what looks back at me is reality and I have to make sure that I do not obsess about the my faults but praise over my accomplishments. It is something that takes time and not better in a few days, months but can take a long time to work on.
   I have a wonderful family support as well as a few who I work with that have a different weight loss surgeries. I thank GOD for placing them in my path to be support and references. GOD is good and he is my # 1 supporter.

                                            This picture was taken 5April, and 32 days before my surgery.

   My husband is my cheerleader. Especially when I do not want to go to the gym or work out. He has been patient and kind throughout my ups and downs. He does not know how much I need him to continue his overwhelming love and support.
April 5th 
                                                           Post op day 4 ( i think)

                                                          28 May
                                                                June 2nd
                                                                   Mid June
                                                             24 June
                                                                 29 June
                                                                    30 June
                                                              30 June

Here are some pictures of my progress. I have to keep reminding my self that this is a work in progress and as rome was not built in one day, I will not lose it in one day either.

MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

      Hello all, it has been a very long time since my last post and I am going to update and catch up everyone. So, I lost my lap band sept 2011. It has been a very depressing ordeal, and I am still grieving over the loss of it.
       After moving to our new duty station and I began to work out with cross fit and then began working at the hospital here on post. Pound after pound would just add back on my body. I made an appointment with my doctor and she placed a consult for me to see the general surgeon. While there was only one who did WLS I had to wait for my time and I got my appointment and he and I talked about the best options for me. After the loss of the band, it was decided that I could not be a candidate for the band. Gastric sleeve was discussed and we both agreed that this was the surgery of choice.
    On may 8th, I will be going under the knife one more time and I will over come my weight issues with this WLS. While I can not fall on only the surgical procedure, I have a lot of work to do. I have been working out again. Zumba, and any other cardio I can do. Walking will be my big butt around for the first couple of weeks.
      Right now I am struggling with my first day on my liquid diet. I need at least 70 grams of protein and less than 30 grams of carbs. I got 94 grams of protein. I am hungry but I can not fail at this week as I need to shrink my liver so I can have the surgery.
       I am not proud I need another WLS. I am disappointed and feel like a failure. However, I am going to not fail and be a success story and be a healthy person again.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Fear of this being just a dream......

Lately, I have been worried about what the future holds. I see that I am holding steady, and losing now is slow because now it is all on exercise and keeping up with that. I have been going about 3 times a week, so I think that is a good thing. But I fear that a complication will develop and I will lose my band, and go back to that size I was. I have learned so much about dieting and working out, so I know I would give it a good fight, but still I am so scared that I will gain all I lost. I hope that this fear is normal as others have dealt with this feeling. I sometimes think I am going to wake up and this was all a dream too. I can't bare to think about what if I didn't do this life changing surgery...........It is to hard not to.

Now for some hopeful news. I have been talking to my nutritionist and told them about an idea. I would like to talk to the ones who are thinking about or in process of having WLS. I wish someone talked to me. I am not going to lecture but I want to show them some of the feelings, regret, and the empowerment they might feel. I also want to show them the pictures, and how much they are going to change and if they go home, like I did, they might no be recognized, and have to say hello and give people a few minutes to put 2 and 2 together. Well the girls loved it and it is in the works. I am going to write out what I would like to say. So I would like help about some of the feelings you might have had. Thats if you would like to share. If you have any ideas about what to talk about, or what might not be good to talk about. I just want to show them that there are so many different feelings, and that it is a process. Might not all deal with them personally, but good to know about them.

Thank you all for reading. I hope all of you are well.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

"over weight" so my BMI says

2010.... this is my year. I will get to a normal BMI this year. I am taking my time, so don't worry, I am not going to do anything wrong or bad. I am 172. The last few dozen or so have been the hardest. So I am hitting the gym. It has been harder since my husband has deployed to Iraq, and am working full time, and being a mom of 4. So, I did what I could do at home. Actually walking up and down stairs, and house work can really work up a sweat.
My dear friend Becca told me that they have extended childcare hours at the gym, and well I have used them. It helps that I can get to the gym about and hour a night. Running/cardio, and some weight lifting has been good. My endorphins are up, and I am back to my renewed faith that I can do it.
I'm in a size 10 now. Nice to continue looking for new clothes, but I don't buy new. Thrift stores are my new friend. Its fun finding clothes, and I got some name brands too. I will buy new when I am done with the weight loss. I'm so proud of how far along I have gotten. It is good to see me evolve.

To my followers, some of you have told me that your reading. Thank you. It means a lot. Knowing that your reading helps me get through a rough day. Helping you going through the stages and the journey your embarking is just one thing that I wish I had when I started. So if there are any questions, or something that you would like me to write about, please let me know. I want to be a resource, or support on your road to a new you.
God Bless and you can do this too!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Running.......feeling of wind in your face

I know 2 in one day.......... but I took a jog tonight with Jedi. He is no runner by any means, but he is a dog, and he was so good to take along. Mind you he is passed out by the back door, I think I tuckered him out. But.............he came along. We did about 3/4 of a mile. Maybe 1 mile. I don't know. For me it isn't the amount........ it is the time its getting my heart rate up to burn calories. It is so freeing now to be jogging, and feeling the wind in my face. The weather is changing to fall, and so to run in the evening is a nice thrill!
I don't think I will ever be one of those runners you see everyday, but........I will try my hardest to!
Thanks for all of you and your comments. I am truely blessed to have you read my posts!