Hello all, it has been a very long time since my last post and I am going to update and catch up everyone. So, I lost my lap band sept 2011. It has been a very depressing ordeal, and I am still grieving over the loss of it.
       After moving to our new duty station and I began to work out with cross fit and then began working at the hospital here on post. Pound after pound would just add back on my body. I made an appointment with my doctor and she placed a consult for me to see the general surgeon. While there was only one who did WLS I had to wait for my time and I got my appointment and he and I talked about the best options for me. After the loss of the band, it was decided that I could not be a candidate for the band. Gastric sleeve was discussed and we both agreed that this was the surgery of choice.
    On may 8th, I will be going under the knife one more time and I will over come my weight issues with this WLS. While I can not fall on only the surgical procedure, I have a lot of work to do. I have been working out again. Zumba, and any other cardio I can do. Walking will be my big butt around for the first couple of weeks.
      Right now I am struggling with my first day on my liquid diet. I need at least 70 grams of protein and less than 30 grams of carbs. I got 94 grams of protein. I am hungry but I can not fail at this week as I need to shrink my liver so I can have the surgery.
       I am not proud I need another WLS. I am disappointed and feel like a failure. However, I am going to not fail and be a success story and be a healthy person again.

Fear of this being just a dream......

Lately, I have been worried about what the future holds. I see that I am holding steady, and losing now is slow because now it is all on exercise and keeping up with that. I have been going about 3 times a week, so I think that is a good thing. But I fear that a complication will develop and I will lose my band, and go back to that size I was. I have learned so much about dieting and working out, so I know I would give it a good fight, but still I am so scared that I will gain all I lost. I hope that this fear is normal as others have dealt with this feeling. I sometimes think I am going to wake up and this was all a dream too. I can't bare to think about what if I didn't do this life changing surgery...........It is to hard not to.

Now for some hopeful news. I have been talking to my nutritionist and told them about an idea. I would like to talk to the ones who are thinking about or in process of having WLS. I wish someone talked to me. I am not going to lecture but I want to show them some of the feelings, regret, and the empowerment they might feel. I also want to show them the pictures, and how much they are going to change and if they go home, like I did, they might no be recognized, and have to say hello and give people a few minutes to put 2 and 2 together. Well the girls loved it and it is in the works. I am going to write out what I would like to say. So I would like help about some of the feelings you might have had. Thats if you would like to share. If you have any ideas about what to talk about, or what might not be good to talk about. I just want to show them that there are so many different feelings, and that it is a process. Might not all deal with them personally, but good to know about them.

Thank you all for reading. I hope all of you are well.

"over weight" so my BMI says

2010.... this is my year. I will get to a normal BMI this year. I am taking my time, so don't worry, I am not going to do anything wrong or bad. I am 172. The last few dozen or so have been the hardest. So I am hitting the gym. It has been harder since my husband has deployed to Iraq, and am working full time, and being a mom of 4. So, I did what I could do at home. Actually walking up and down stairs, and house work can really work up a sweat.
My dear friend Becca told me that they have extended childcare hours at the gym, and well I have used them. It helps that I can get to the gym about and hour a night. Running/cardio, and some weight lifting has been good. My endorphins are up, and I am back to my renewed faith that I can do it.
I'm in a size 10 now. Nice to continue looking for new clothes, but I don't buy new. Thrift stores are my new friend. Its fun finding clothes, and I got some name brands too. I will buy new when I am done with the weight loss. I'm so proud of how far along I have gotten. It is good to see me evolve.

To my followers, some of you have told me that your reading. Thank you. It means a lot. Knowing that your reading helps me get through a rough day. Helping you going through the stages and the journey your embarking is just one thing that I wish I had when I started. So if there are any questions, or something that you would like me to write about, please let me know. I want to be a resource, or support on your road to a new you.
God Bless and you can do this too!

Running.......feeling of wind in your face

I know 2 in one day.......... but I took a jog tonight with Jedi. He is no runner by any means, but he is a dog, and he was so good to take along. Mind you he is passed out by the back door, I think I tuckered him out. But.............he came along. We did about 3/4 of a mile. Maybe 1 mile. I don't know. For me it isn't the amount........ it is the time its getting my heart rate up to burn calories. It is so freeing now to be jogging, and feeling the wind in my face. The weather is changing to fall, and so to run in the evening is a nice thrill!
I don't think I will ever be one of those runners you see everyday, but........I will try my hardest to!
Thanks for all of you and your comments. I am truely blessed to have you read my posts!

180's! So happy

Well, I saw my wonderful surgion a little over a week ago. He gave me a small adjustment, and so I am slowly moving in the downward direction again. I am really happy about that. I can't wait to not have to go on the scale again. Clothes, where can I start. I hate the fact that I have to wear bigger clothes. But I am not going to keep buying new. I am in about 11/12, or 12/14 depending on the make of the clothes. I am so glad to be in a normal size.
I am heading to go for a jog this morning. I think. I would love to jog with someone who get me going. I don't understand the "how to start". I hate getting out of breath, and I need someone to teach me. Hopefully soon.
Thanks all for reading!

numbers

Number mean a lot. Shoe sizes, grades for school, address for houses, and clothes. Well, since losing about 70lbs, I have dropped about 8 sizes. From a screaming 26 to a size 11/12. I can't remember when I was a 11/12.
Last night while bowling with my family, I noticed they have full lenght mirrors. I couldn't help look at my new doo, and shorts I bought yesterday. It is such a reverlation that I am the average looking person on the other side. I can't help but think what if I didn't do the lapband when I did. What would have looked like, or would I even be alive.
I am here!! I am thinner, and I for once can say, I LOOK GOOD!
here is my new shorts!! aren't they cute the first photo on here

and my new hair dooo is the 2nd one!!


thanks again for reading..........
more to come!!

Changing.........and looking in the past

Lately I have come in touch with old friends. Some that weren't so nice in the past, some that were great friends and had many fun times. I have noticed that the not so nice ones have changed. It was so nice to recieve a apology from one. I don't think you ever realize who you were in the past until you see who you are in the future. I know my weight was the cause of the redicule, and pain in my high school days.
I am so much happier now! I am glad to come back in touch with these people from my past. I have no bitter feelings towards them. We all grow up, move away, become wifes/husbands, parents, or focus on our careers. I am filled with great things in my life, and have people who are there. I have let my past go, and look forward to what the future holds!
I am going home in Dec to enjoy the holidays with family and friends. I can't wait to catch up with my friends from my high school days!