Sunday, October 4, 2009

Running.......feeling of wind in your face

I know 2 in one day.......... but I took a jog tonight with Jedi. He is no runner by any means, but he is a dog, and he was so good to take along. Mind you he is passed out by the back door, I think I tuckered him out. But.............he came along. We did about 3/4 of a mile. Maybe 1 mile. I don't know. For me it isn't the amount........ it is the time its getting my heart rate up to burn calories. It is so freeing now to be jogging, and feeling the wind in my face. The weather is changing to fall, and so to run in the evening is a nice thrill!
I don't think I will ever be one of those runners you see everyday, but........I will try my hardest to!
Thanks for all of you and your comments. I am truely blessed to have you read my posts!

180's! So happy

Well, I saw my wonderful surgion a little over a week ago. He gave me a small adjustment, and so I am slowly moving in the downward direction again. I am really happy about that. I can't wait to not have to go on the scale again. Clothes, where can I start. I hate the fact that I have to wear bigger clothes. But I am not going to keep buying new. I am in about 11/12, or 12/14 depending on the make of the clothes. I am so glad to be in a normal size.
I am heading to go for a jog this morning. I think. I would love to jog with someone who get me going. I don't understand the "how to start". I hate getting out of breath, and I need someone to teach me. Hopefully soon.
Thanks all for reading!

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Number mean a lot. Shoe sizes, grades for school, address for houses, and clothes. Well, since losing about 70lbs, I have dropped about 8 sizes. From a screaming 26 to a size 11/12. I can't remember when I was a 11/12.
Last night while bowling with my family, I noticed they have full lenght mirrors. I couldn't help look at my new doo, and shorts I bought yesterday. It is such a reverlation that I am the average looking person on the other side. I can't help but think what if I didn't do the lapband when I did. What would have looked like, or would I even be alive.
I am here!! I am thinner, and I for once can say, I LOOK GOOD!
here is my new shorts!! aren't they cute the first photo on here

and my new hair dooo is the 2nd one!!

thanks again for reading..........
more to come!!

Monday, July 6, 2009

Changing.........and looking in the past

Lately I have come in touch with old friends. Some that weren't so nice in the past, some that were great friends and had many fun times. I have noticed that the not so nice ones have changed. It was so nice to recieve a apology from one. I don't think you ever realize who you were in the past until you see who you are in the future. I know my weight was the cause of the redicule, and pain in my high school days.
I am so much happier now! I am glad to come back in touch with these people from my past. I have no bitter feelings towards them. We all grow up, move away, become wifes/husbands, parents, or focus on our careers. I am filled with great things in my life, and have people who are there. I have let my past go, and look forward to what the future holds!
I am going home in Dec to enjoy the holidays with family and friends. I can't wait to catch up with my friends from my high school days!

Monday, June 29, 2009


I have finally hit my biggest goal ever! I am in the 100's!
I am so happy and I am now only about 60lbs from my goal!
I can't remember the last time I weighed this weight.

I know that I am still over weight, but i have a BMI of 33, and my current weight today was 196.

I am making is possible!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Summer time, and new things

Ohhhh I love summer. The green grass, the flowers blooming, kids playing outside. Laughs of out door play.......splasing in the pool.............
It is a whole new world out there for me. I never liked the pool before. Gross bathing suits, and cover ups that were non to flattering. But because I am a mom of four, I can't say no to the kids.
So this year is different. I didn't need a new suit. Because my old ones fit perfectly. They are so nicer looking too now that I don't have spillage too.

I remember thinking about one thing that I never got to do as an adult.......... Shop in Victoria Secret. While doing some much needed shopping one day, I ventured in to the pink store. Oh the pretty bras and intamate apparel. I kindly asked one of the sales girls to fit me for a new bra. I did need a few, but I from here will be fine. So she took her tape, and measured me 3 times. Gave me the measurement, and she proceded to look for my size. She hurried back with 4 different styles, and gave me her opinion on a few. I tried them all on, and made my selection. My day changed from ok to fantastic. After paying for my new purple bra, I made for the nearest bathroom to adone my new acquisition.......... I walked out and my hubby saw my smile. He knew that this was long awaited. It felt good to feel pretty underneith.
I wanted to walk around all day with no shirt on, and show it to the world, but that would be illegal in most states. So I walked around with my shoulders back, my head held high, and my breasts where they should be. That was enough to make my day so wonderful.

I am currently in a 14/16. I have never been able to fit that size since high school. Thrift stores have become my new fav place to shop because I refuse to spend full price on new clothes when I will need to only buy new one in about 15- 20 lbs again. So I find what I need, and donate the rest. I am so happy to feel this good.

I am still getting used to my new reflection.........but I am beginning to like her a lot. She is more confident, and happier. It's about time I feel like me again.

I am sorry I don't post alot. But with 4 kids, and getting ready for my darling husband to deploy again, I have no time. I want to spend as much time with the kids and him so we can hold on to the memories, and recall those later while he is gone. But I do have another post I am working on. I will work on that and get it out this week or the beginning of next.
Thanks all!

Friday, April 24, 2009


Who is that person staring back at me in my mirror. More defined features, pronounced cheekbones, collarbones................who is that person. Because while her features look familuar, I don't think I know her.
I find my self stairing at my reflection more. It was so hard in the past to look, and be positive about the person looking back. I didn't like her, and I was disappointed with how she looked.
I am told several times a day how wonderful I look. How did I do it? Ect. I am forward with my responce, and tell the truth. I had surgery. Never once have I got a negative comment. AS a matter of fact, I am sometimes asked, Can you help me? And I do!
I am more comfortable in my body now. There are areas that aren't so flattering and with time, exercize and some money, I will be the person beneith this extra skin. Hearing compliments from people is great. But honestly, what was so wrong with me in the past. Was I not the same person. Friendly, outgoing, the ball of sunshine I am! I haven't changed anything about my personality, maybe a little more confident, but physically I have changed for the better.
What I am trying to say is, that with change comes new views. I don't see my self yet, because I am still evolving. The changes that are taking place are great, but at the same time scary. I am proud with my accomplishments, and how I have adjusted to this new life. I call out my new victories...........they need to be treasured, and celebrated.
I hope that this reflection of my reflection helps. It is hard to write about how I am changing as it is happening. I am about 13lbs away from my first real goal. I will be 199. I haven't been that weight in a long time. It seems so close...........yet so far. One day at a pound at a time too!
Thank you for following my journey!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Work outs are............

So much different when you are lighter. I can stay on machines longer. I don't hurt........I look cute in work out clothes....LOL
But seriously......I have never felt better. I am so happy that I am cardioing, and working out.
If you ever are in Georgia......look me up!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Frustration........its a downer

There are days when I am so tired of the scale, counting foods, and just wish I was one of those naturally skinny people. You know the ones I am talking about, eat anything they want, don't have to exercise, complain about being so skinny.
I have probally not been as good as I can be...........but all in all I am following my rules.
I am happy with the weight loss, however, I wish it there was more lost.
I tell myself, Rome wasn't built in a day, and I didn't gain it all in one day. So I just regroup.......rethink........and adapt to my changes. I am thinner........healither........and definataly happier!
Some day I will look back and see how strong I am, and what a blob I looked like!
My children are so happy for me, and say such awesome things to keep me going.
I am keeping positive......!! I have to say when the scale don't budge..........I do get down, and I have to remember my own words!
I want to thank you all who follow my blog! It is so nice to see the comments, and I am very touched by the support. I love to post my feelings about this change of life. Each time I post a blog, and express my makes me feel so much better!
Thanks again!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Been so Long, please forgive me

It is now 5 months since my surgery. I have had my 2nd fill on the 13th of Feb. I am learning the ropes of how it is to eat all over again. Some foods that passed ok before, don't pass now. Getting sick was always the grossest thing for me, and sometimes I can't help it now.
I chew chew and chew.................because I don't want to have to deal with getting stuck. Oh I heard how painful that can be.

My family has been awesome. I can't believe that I am in a size 16 already. It feels good to slip them on and know I don't look 1/2 bad. Forgetting what I used to look like will not be hard, as I have pictures of me all over the place. I pray that my daughter never goes though this heart ache. I can't bare to imagine her being made fun of, and feeling like no one understands.

I am grateful I can put down my feelings, and express them to anyone who might be going through this themselves.

My prayers are with anyone making this decision. May you make the right one! God Bless

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Platues suck!

So, we have all had our times where that scale won't budge. As much as I wanted to throw the scale out of the window, I didn't at all. I was ohhhh sooooo close.
Lately my work outs have gotten harder, and very long. Treadmill, ellipital, stairmaster, and then Jackies hard work out ever. The best thing I could have ever done..........and Jackie knows her stuff.
Eating has been so much better. I do get stressed but I have stopped thinking about food. I can't stand stress eating, and I am trying hard not to do it. I have done so well, and I have stress ate once. My house is sparkling though. Since I have not ate.......I clean. I didn't get a chance to get to the gym, but........ I think vaccuming, wiping down 2 bathrooms, sweeping, mopping, and a few other things.............That has to count for something, right??

I am so close to 30lbs lost, and that will be 1/4 of the way to my goal. How awesome right? For once in my life I am going to get to follow through. I am never giving up this change of life. I tried on a size 16 today........A size 16!! They were tight. But I closed them up!!
I don't think I have worn a 16 since 10th grade. That was when I was on the swim team and totally working out daily. So this was a big feat for me.

Thanks for reading, and if you can say a little prayer that this keeps getting easier and that I don't regress. I can't bare to go backwards.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy New year...... Welcome new me....!

Well this day marks the new year for me. I have so much to look forward to, and a lot to get ready for. My whole life will be flipped upside down this year. I have yet to go through a year of " getting ready". Let me explain.
This year my husband is going to be preparing for his 3rd deployment. I have not yet been through something like that. It is going to be a time of happiness, nervousness, and preparation. I am not a stranger to living as a single married mother of 4.
With the last deployment.......I got to be a good at a making things work. I was able to lose a lot of weight when he was gone last time. Darian has a way of getting bad food into the house. But being married to a soldier.........a little bad food isn't so bad.

Eating this year isn't going to be any different than last year. Just alot less. Portion control is something I learned with the Weight Watchers. I am using this with the lap band right now. It is very helpful and I can't live with out my scale and the frozen meals. I do cook alot for the family. I have a great WW cook book. It has great recipes, and I got some great reviews from family and friends. That makes me feel good because I know not only have I satisfied some stomachs, but also had fed them healthy.

Well I wish all of you a happy New year. I do wish you all well, health and many good wishes. If you are thinking about this life change........just email me. I know this decision isn't an easy one. It isn't one to be made lightly............ think about it!